Just your typical forward-thinking blogger here, living a zany life you would never believe unless you were me! But I digress, let me tell you one of the many adventures I recently had. You see, I live in a place that’s full of adventure, so to call it an adventure is pretty much a given but it seems so much more special when I call it an adventure. So it was an adventure nonetheless.
Still there?
Good. Well, I should say alright because that’s what’s people say when they rub their hands together and launch into a story. So let me lunch into story… Wait! I meant launch! I’m such a silly goose! Oh me… But anyway, before I got carried away about being cute I was talking about going on this adventure. And it was an adventure that wasn’t too far for me. I was really just around the corner from where I live, in a place that I pretty much spend all my time. BUT it’s always an adventure there BECAUSE I’m there (make sense?). So I’m just a girl living in my adventure from a place that isn’t too far from where I usually go. And I’m really having a good time. I usually don’t go out unless I’m gonna have a good time (which is all the time… duh.) And I’m having a good night at this great place. I’m having all these crazy conversations I usually don’t have, because everything is new and exciting when I’m out. And while I’m having these conversations there’s a sleight of hand and before I know what’s going on I’M SMOKING A MARIJUANA CIGARETTE AND THE ROOM STARTS SPINNING AND I START DOING CRAZY SHIT BECAUSE I’M NOT USED TO GETTING HIGH ESPECIALLY NOT IN PUBLIC PLACES SO I FIGURE IT’S A GOOD TIME TO DO APPROPRIATE STUFF LIKE RAPE THE REALLY HOT BARTENDER WHO’S BEEN FEEDING ME DRINKS ALL NIGHT AND I SMILE BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE A YOUNG HARRISON FORD AND I REALLY LIKED HARRISON FORD IN THE FUGITIVE BECAUSE THE MOVIE REMINDED ME OF MY DAD WHEN I WAS REALLY LITTLE BECAUSE MY DAD HAD A BEARD BACK THEN BUT HE CHANGED IT AND DYED HIS HAIR JUST LIKE HARRISON EXCEPT MY DAD DID IT FOR MY MOM AND NOT IN SOME MOTEL IN THE MIDWEST SOMEWHERE OH WAIT I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT BECAUSE I’M SO FUCKED UP ON THE WEED I FORGOT I WAS TELLING YOU HOW I WOUND UP RAPING THE BARTENDER WELL NOT REALLY I WAS RAPING HIM IN MY MIND HOLY SHIT DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD I’M GONNA BE REALLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT THIS WHEN I COME OFF MY POT BUZZ
… gee, I hope Gawker doesn’t post about this tomorrow.
You, good sirs, win a Pixie, the Totes Random award for Boxxy-level totes-random-style trolling. Give yourself a star, and a heart, and then draw a zombie on the heart to show you are cute but also punk.
Rebloged from : fuckyeahtumblrmemeclub
